Miss Imperfect

Throughout this life experience, I constantly think about how my identity impacts all aspects of my life. Every experience, conversation, interaction, and thought are filtered through my identity as a Black woman. One of the important aspects is how I view myself. My self-esteem has been a major theme within my life. In my opinion, I believe that other Black women and women of color in general could agree with me on this sentiment.

Within my experience, my journey with self-esteem has been one that has been created in the midst of trauma and self-hatred. For a percentage of Black women, grappling or creating a sense of self-esteem is an uphill battle. White supremacy and the enforcement of Eurocentric beauty standards has created this issue. It is easy to pin point this issue when you examine who is praised for their attractiveness in all realms of media. More often than not, we are fed the idea of who is desirable and who is not, and it is all based on the current beauty standard that has been popularized for centuries in the Western world. What message does this send to young Black girls and women?

With the pressure of following and assimilating to Western beauty standards, colorism and featurism play a role within the destruction of self-esteem and self worth of many Black women. Colorism is discriminating against those based on their skin complexion while featurism is when those who possess certain facial features are discriminated against. The media and those that surround us constantly give us a reminder of how undesirable we are according to their standards. Although we see beauty as something that is superficial and temporary, desirability plays a part in how we are perceived but most importantly, how we are treated.

For example, if you were to examine the discourse that takes place involving desirability on social media platforms such as Twitter and TikTok, you would come to an understanding of how Black women feel when they are rejected from society based on the features that they possess. We often feel ostracized or forced to assimilate, because our natural beauty is not enough to be considered desirable. It is not seen as something to be praised or displayed, but something that should be hidden with different cosmetic procedures and other things that alter our appearance. We see this phenomenon through dating shows as well such as “Love Island”, where the contestants who are Black women are consistently rejected and discarded throughout the course of the season.

But, the issue of desirability amongst the Black community is one that has historical context. Within the history of the U.S, specifically chattel slavery and the Jim Crow era, colorism and featurism have been used as a marker to determine who is desirable or worthy of acceptance. Practices such as the brown paper bag test are one of the many examples that we’ve seen or experienced in our history. But, these instances have impacted Black women on a broader, much more intense scale as well. According to the article titled “The Black the Berry; Gender, Skin Tone, Self Esteem, and Self Efficacy”, earlier studies suggested that darker-skinned Black women were seen as the least desirable and unable to achieve success within professional and academic spaces (Thompson and Keith, 2001). White supremacy and Eurocentric ideals act as fuel for our hatred of one another when it comes to the black community.

As I examine and think about desirability and self-esteem within Black women, I often think of my own experiences as well. While in predominately white spaces, I was often left ostracized and bullied for the way I look. The features that I possess were seen as unattractive and something that I should change. The more hatred I was given, the more I wanted to change the features that were given to me. I desired to have features that could assimilate into the beauty standard. I did not have the ability to see myself as beautiful or desirable. Not only did this impact my self-esteem when it came to my physical appearance, it also impacted my confidence and ability to make choices for myself. I was left feeling worthless and having no value because of the things I could not control.

How can we as a culture or society, expect Black women to remain confident and “strong” while also telling us that who we are is not enough? I often ask myself this question and I have come to the realization that Black women are expected to uplift not only their own community but others while simultaneously not having the strength to do so because of the mistreatment that we often face.

We must abandon the idea that Eurocentric standards of beauty and living is the standard that we must all follow in the Western world. In order to progress as a community, it is important to uplift everyone in said community. It is about working against those who oppress us instead of uplifting and assimilating to the oppressor.

References

Thompson, M. S., & Keith, V. M. (2001). The blacker the berry: Gender, skin tone, self-esteem, and self-efficacy. Gender & Society, 15(3), 336-357.